It's July 5th today, time to put this very strange holiday behind us. I don't even know how to describe what it was like, very disconcerting. We spent the weekend camping down by Yankton like we have so many years in the past, all big, noisy crowded affairs filled with nieces, nephews, our own kids, coming, going, fighting, laughing and always eating.
This year, it was just Grandma & Grandpa and Jeannie & me. Deb and Brian and Tim and his girlfriend came down for a picnic on Sunday, but the other 4 days were just us. Not that it was a bad thing but just so weird, to go from a huge family get together to 4 old people, hanging out. It was great spending time with my parents and we had some great card games but it was like, where is everybody? this is going to take some getting used to, and frankly, I don't like it. As usual, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.
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Everything I looked at reminded me of Labor Day last year. The wonderful family time we had saying goodbye to Wyatt and just plain enjoying our extended family. One thing after another flooded my mind with memories of Wyatt. I was so tuned into him last year because I knew he was leaving. The volleyball game, painting t-shirts, bean bags, bicycles, etc. When I got out the table cloth there were paint stains from the t-shirt painting. It was such a short time ago. But I have to tell the one really great thing that happened. Our friends Steve and Dianna came and invited us to go on Dianna's mom's pontoon for a ride. So away we went. It was a beautiful day to be on the lake. I just looked out at the sky and water and relaxed in the back by myself. I was looking into the water and I asked, "Wyatt, where are you?" All the elements of earth, water and sky seemed to speak to me saying, "Mom, I'm right here, I'm in everything now, all around you". I felt a little better. But then just a couple of minutes later, a monarch butterfly was flying right in front of me hovering above the water. We were in the middle of this huge lake! There was no way a butterfly should have been out there. I called Greg to take a look at it. I said "what is it doing here, how did it get way out here?" He was surprised too. I know it was a sign. Monarchs are a common sign when someone dies, so are cardinals. That butterfly had to appear way out in the middle of the lake before I would accept it as a sign. Wyatt is still alive, we are just separated now. My friend, Carol, had so many things happen with butterflies after her son, Jeremy, died. But I didn't expect them to give me a sign. Now I have one. And a new memory of camping in Yankton. Kyla called and said she felt Wyatt with her too.
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