More on Time

I bought a book at Good Will awhile back. It is titled Time and Space. I am thoroughly enjoying it. It is definitely bringing the great theories of all time down to layman terms. Which is exactly what I need. Anyhow, I think I am studying time because I believe time is death itself. Each minute falls away and can never be restored or revisited except in our thoughts. There is a quote that seemed to hit home. Here it is:

This idea is based on the physicists' second law of thermodynamics, which states that in any isolated system, entropy-or disorder-increases with time. A classic example of an isolated system with a high degree of order is an ordinary drinking glass. If the glass falls and shatters, disorder increases. The reverse will never occur: The shards of glass will never leap into the air and reassemble themselves. Events move steadily and irreversibly forward into the future, never turning back into the past. Therefore, explain scientists, time must act correspondingly, moving inexorably into the future. Although, as Einstein explained in the special theory of relativity, time moves slower or faster depending on the observer, it still moves in only one direction, and that is foward.

I think one of the hardest things to accept about Wyatt's death is that it cannot be undone. I know that probably sounds strange to others, but for months now my mind goes back to the fall. My minds works and reworks the accident. For a long time I needed details, details. After I felt I had gotten all the details there were my mind now rehashes them. Not all the time, but still it is like I am seeking a different result. It is as if my mind just cannot accept that this string of events can't somehow be changed just a small bit and Wyatt will come back. But also I remember feeling like I was standing in the middle of shattered glass, desparate to put it back together. Seeing millions of tiny shards and thinking there had to be a way to bring it back together. Then accepting that it was impossible just like the quote above expresses. In accepting the truth, life has taken on an entirely new meaning. I am still trying to put it into words, this new reality. Everything and Nothing are important at the same time. I know Wyatt would love to enter into this exploration with me. Hey, who knows, maybe he is, in a different dimension.

PS. I know I'm weird!